What I'm really talking about is this growing wave of discontent, bitterness and disappointment creeping in like a Wisteria vine and threatening to poison other people's (and our industry in general) success. And, worst of all, the systematic tearing down of other more "successful" writers for achieving the things we haven't (yet). Like that's perfectly acceptable human behavior.
Well, it isn't.
Would I love to be published by now? Um. YEAH. Is it < fill in the successful writer's name here > 's fault that I haven't? Um. NO. And friends, we have got to stop acting like it is!
It's no one's "fault." It's just the way the chips have fallen to this point. And personally I'm okay with it because my yardstick of success is my own. Not John Green's. Not Amanda Hocking's. MINE.
Let's say you wanted to run a half-marathon. Would you measure your success (and your end time) on the Kenyan dude who can run 4 minute miles? Well, if you did, you'd think my 2:12 minute time was shite. But see, my goal wasn't to win the race. My goal was first, to finish, and then, to finish under 2 and a half hours. And because I kept my eyes on my own goal, I was beyond thrilled with the outcome.
So, I'm going to give you the secret to contentment WHEREVER you are on your writing/publishing journey. In just three easy steps (and a fourth if all else fails) you, too, can choke out that ugly, bitter thing and celebrate other people's successes that have NO BEARING on your own.
Step 1: Figure out what YOU want to achieve.
Is your primary aim to write for the love of it? Do you want to write for friends and family? Is your goal to publish commercially with a Big 6 (or another traditional publisher because let's be honest, these days, the BIG 6 aren't the only ones putting out kick ass books)? Make money from your writing? Make enough money to justify not working another job? Be honest with yourself. No one else will see your goals because the point is you're not measuring against anyone else, remember?
Also, be aware that what you want when you first step on this crazy merri-go-round may not be the same thing you want when the ride is halfway through. Things change (um, hello Amazon? iBooks 2?), your interests change, your writing might change and it makes sense then that your goals can change, too. You may think you want to publish traditionally but then you meet this zany cool indie pub at ALA and it's a game-changer for your vision.
Step 2: Set small, specific, measurable goals that you can ATTAIN.
Lots of people say, for example, "I want to be published in 2012." Well, okay. But that's very vague. Published in your church newsletter? In a literary journal? Publish a novel? See how the answers there set up more goals-- you have to have written in order to publish and where you want to publish, determines what you must have written. Here you get specific and measurable.
"I want to write and publish a short story in 2012." You could even name the specific journal if that's part of your goal. Tin House, ho!
But the other flaw with our broad aim is that if it's a novel you seek to publish, it can be unrealistic. If the novel is not yet written, is a year enough time to write it, polish it, edit it, and either query it or self-pub it? (More specific and measurable goals) If you go the query route, then once you find an agent, you've got to polish it some more before you sub to editors. And even if the first editor to pick it up buys it, you're still looking at at least a year before it's "published," which means you won't get it out before the close of 2012. Ah, see: attainable. It is simply unrealistic to set out to write and traditionally publish a novel in a year.
You can have big sweeping goals, sure. You should, in fact! But be sure you also have some tick marks along the way that are attainable (For example, "find representation" might be a tick mark on your way to publication). When you're running a marathon, each mile marker along the way matters, perhaps none more so than the last 2/10 of a mile!
Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Learn it, use it, love it.
Step 3: Keep your OWN goals front and center.
If you know what your goals are and where you are on the road toward achieving them, you won't be phased when other people achieve ALL the THINGS and you'll be better able to celebrate with them without that ugly bitterness creeping back in.
So, write them down. Stick post-it notes on your computer. Use a dry erase marker and write them on a mirror your look at every day. Etch them into the front of your moleskine. Put a stick on your dashboard. Whatever works to give them top of mind awareness.
|This might be excessive use of the post-it note. But you get the gist.|
OPTIONAL Step 4: This is an in-emergency-break-glass scenario. If you can't get past your bitterness and it's starting to effect your writing and/or daily life, GET OFF THE INTERNET. Seriously, ABORT THE MISSION.
There are a lot of writers and messages and announcements in the interwebs and if you need to, take a break from it. Shut out all the noise, regroup and re-center yourself. We've all had those moments/days/weeks. Allow yourself to step away for a stint. Because bitterness is a slippery slope that can and often does seep like poison into your life. And that is NO GOOD for you but also for the people around you who are happy and content with where their journey is taking them.
I've been there. It's a hard road we travel but it's not really different than any other industry, hobby or profession. Some people get ahead quickly, some have to work at it for a while. But the bottom line is that if YOU can control your measure of success and are prepared to work your tail off to reach your specific, measurable and attainable goals, you can't not be content.
No, go forth and achieve your goals!